Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are like me, then.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Why is my elder sister so mean?

It’s here now, writing to you.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

I was tired of fighting.

Scientists decipher the genetic history of 400 medieval skeletons - Earth.com

It’s still here.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?

The sadness was still there.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Is Daenerys Targaryen really the most beautiful woman, or is everyone saying that just to flatter her?

Be who you already are.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

If women aren't shallow, why do most tall, good-looking men have girlfriends?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I had run out of hope.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why are the Chinese so sensitive to Western criticism?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Why am I attracted to older men?

And the sadness?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Does a person with schizophrenia hear voices?

I was tired of trying and failing.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Why do flat-earthers claim the 1967 photo of Earth from space was made with CGI, even though CGI didn't exist back then?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.